Monday, October 31, 2011

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

"The report notes that the problem is particularly severe among young male veterans, ages 18 to 24, for whom the unemployment rate is nearly 27 percent. While younger people in general are more likely to be unemployed, that number is still significantly higher than the rate for male nonveterans of the same age group: 17.4 percent."

Know what's funny about testosterone and emotion at that age?  It finds an outlet (creative or destructive) - one way or the other, it finds an outlet.

For Halloween, I'm Trick-or-Treating as a Fascist

"Fascism should more properly be called corporatism because it is the merger of state and corporate power." Benito Mussolini

I hate Nazis and Fascists and control freak influence peddlers, don't you?  But, if El Duce tells you something about what it means to be a fascist, I suggest that it's time to take note.... even if his message comes to you from beyond the grave.... bwahahahahahahaha!  Happy Halloween!!!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Life Alert for Christmas?

At the Sturgis Rally in 2009, I saw him take a fall off the Buffalo Chip stage during Aerosmith's show.  They had to chopper his old ass outta there to get him to a hospital in Rapid City.  And now this?  Perhaps it is time to call it a day, Tyler?  Jesus H. Christ... he looks like a contestant in one of those awful "Bum Fights" videos.

Real e-mail I get from Cliff Clavin

Where did piss poor come from ?
Us older people need to learn something new every day..
Just to keep the grey matter tuned up.

Where did "Piss Poor" come from?
Interesting History.
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot
And then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery...
.if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor".
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...
They "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature
Isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts about the 1500s

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May,
And they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell,
Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.
The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water,
Then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children.
Last of all the babies.
By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.
It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals
(mice, bugs) lived in the roof.
When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.
This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings
Could mess up your nice clean bed.
Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.
That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery
In the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing.
As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door,
It would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.
Hence: a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.
Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables
And did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers
In the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.
Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme:
Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old?.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off.
It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon."
They would cut off a little to share with guests
And would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter.
Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food,
causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes,
so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status.
Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle,
and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky.
The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.
They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around
and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
Hence the custom; of holding a wake?.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people.
So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave.
When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks
on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive.
So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin
and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.)
to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be,
saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that's the truth.
Now, whoever said History was boring!!!
So get out there and educate someone! ~~~
Share these facts with a friend.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
'What the heck happened?'

We'll be friends until we are old and senile.
Then we'll be new friends.
it gives your face something to do!

Crispy Criminals with a Coppery Aftertaste

“No rescue attempt was possible,” he said. “Electricity had charged the ground. You could feel the electricity. You couldn’t get near."

Yep, that's probably gonna leave a mark

Tuna, Tequila and Tiaras Was Just a Working Title

Oscar Goodman, former Las Vegas mayor, mob lawyer and devout party boy, is lending his name to a new steakhouse opening in December at the Plaza Hotel and Casino on Fremont Street. The tagline the restaurant is reportedly considering: "Beef, booze and broads."

The "broads" refer to glamorous babes you can request at your table for dinner or drinks. A news release describes them as "an attractive concierge in evening attire."

Yikes!  Nasty, old, fat man junk that is probably crooked and gnarled....

cause, you know, eating an overpriced steak dinner is much more enjoyable if you have a raging Viagra assisted hard-on that in all likelihood you're going to have to address on your own later in the evening

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Phiten Necklace - World Series Victory Strategy

The "edge" the necklaces' manufacturer, Phiten, claims to give is not proved, but especially for athletes, there is psychological value to an item worn consistently, rituals and superstitions, one sports psychologist says.

Right before game time, I'm going to replace them all with loser Puka Necklaces from Wal-Mart.

Let's Play Contrarian

"It's an unusual combination. We had this tremendous run-up in corn and soybean prices and we had very low interest rates," Plain said. "That really allows people to pay a lot for farmland."

Green Acres

Prices only go up, up, up and away…..  hmmmm, I seem to remember this being the mantra during the rise in housing/home “values” (whatever the hell the word "value" is supposed to mean anymore).  Color me "skeptical".

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Painter of Light, my Ass

Back in my married days, I had to tolerate having this guy’s bullshit “artwork” hanging in my house… at the same time that my fabulous Nazi wife ex-wife prohibited me from hanging a stuffed pheasant on the wall… water under the bridge.

Anyhoo, it is with delight that I read that this child-of-God “artist” (stretching the limits of the English language using his name and that word in the same sentence) is now bankrupt and was pinched for DUI…. Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light….. pffffttt.

Turn by Turn Directions to the Upcoming Lollipop Guild Meeting

Nation of Grifters

Mortgage Making for fun and profit

I find the broad spectrum of people who were and are engaged in mortgage fraud to be quite interesting.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Our present day model for growing the economy (when we're not invading places)

Who would have thought that a garage band comprised of Hank Paulson, Ben Bernanke and Tim Geithner impersonating Billy, Dusty and Frank while channeling the ghost of Elvis would become our nation's economic model?  Rock on, dudes.

There is a key difference between groups.  Frank, Billy, Dusty and Elvis liked blowing through Vegas and blowing their money on wine, women and song.    When the dice are hot, they have a good time.  When they shoot craps, they act like men and take their lumps.  Timmy, Hank and Bennie love the action but prefer gambling with other people’s money.

Friday, October 21, 2011

as goes Euro Disney, so goes the Euro

Debt is the real villain that Euro Disney is up against as the company still needs to pay back €1.8bn of the loans it took out in the 1990s to fund its construction. Annual repayments weigh down its bottom line and paying €79m in financial charges in 2010 pushed Euro Disney into loss.

World Series Update

My sweetie, Linda Lou, and I watched the series tie up at one each last night while enjoying some beer, Sybergs Original wings, mushroom/Swiss cheese burger and onion rings.  The turning point for Texas came in the 9th inning with a single and stolen base.  The Cardinals were not able to keep them from scoring.  The game's outcome was a last minute let down - my Linda Lou is not.  I love her company and her smile is contagious.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Bono is now the undisputed King of Uber Cool Shades

Damn the Torpedoes, Full Speed Ahead

"In a confidential preliminary plan to reform the law on credit rating agencies, EU Internal Market Commissioner Michel Barnier seeks to prohibit rating agencies from publishing judgments about ailing EU countries.

Barnier proposes that the new Securities and Exchange ESMA is granted the right "to temporarily prohibit" the disclosure of assessments of the ability to pay.

Barnier has advised the rule take effect in November and wants to hold rating agencies civilly liable for damage caused by "poor" ratings"

I agree with "keeping on the sunny side of life" in general terms but I think it’s still a good idea to be realistic when it comes to assessing the probabilities of repayment of money borrowed by individuals, organizations, corporations or countries.  What’s next?  Are we going to start ignoring past credit histories of individuals when they apply to borrow money because we don’t want to hamper the present day growth of the economy?  What the hell… what could possibly go wrong?

Control the Rules and You Can Control the Game

"The rules, which the Fed has kept secret, let directors tied to banks participate in decisions involving how much interest to charge financial institutions and how much credit to provide healthy banks and institutions in "hazardous" condition."

Wow, and stupid me thought the reason my savings don't earn dick was because we had no inflation in the good ole U.S. of A.  I must be the most stupid person on the face of the planet.

"The most powerful entity in the United States is riddled with conflicts of interest," Sen. Bernie Sanders (from the "No Shit, Sherlock?" file)

some things should not be left open to interpretation

I got a new stick deodorant today.
The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.

Keep on the Sunny Side of Life

"In a confidential preliminary plan to reform the law on credit rating agencies, EU Internal Market Commissioner Michel Barnier seeks to prohibit rating agencies from publishing judgments about ailing EU countries.

Barnier proposes that the new Securities and Exchange ESMA is granted the right "to temporarily prohibit" the disclosure of assessments of the ability to pay.

Barnier has advised the rule take effect in November and wants to hold rating agencies civilly liable for damage caused by "poor" ratings"

Hmmm... what could possibly go wrong?

We shall ban all rainy days and keep to the sunny side

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Occupy my Heart

the head is ever the dupe of the heart

"But when I went to Zuccotti Park to listen to them, I heard something familiar: the same anger, betrayal and distrust of Wall Street that I am hearing broadly from readers of my column". 

These are all emotions.  You can debate till the cows come home about whether they are warranted, but at the end of the day, many people are sharing these feelings.

Federal Reserve ZIRP junkies - - not to be confused with Cowboy Junkies

One recurring thought that I’ve had is that it may be possible that Ben Bernanke and the policies of the Federal Reserve are shifting the unwashed masses toward becoming rate junkies that have a baked in expectation of low interest rates. When rates return to a more normal level, they may well stop dead in their tracks on borrow and spend habits (even more than they have already). The Fed may or may not suspect what it is they are doing or causing. We see it in consumer lending – blow out loan promotions beget promotion junkies who will not borrow unless it is part of a promotional offer. It should be interesting to see over the course of the next few years.

Black eyed man he took the blame For the poisoning of the well