Saturday, December 31, 2011

Educated Beyond Our Capacity

Ever notice how we are really good at creating our own little clusterfucks here on earth?  Back in my old Mississippi days, I heard some good old boy describe a young man who was full of piss and vinegar as "educated beyond his wits" and this is what he meant.

"In recent years, these two teams have used engineering and science skills to analyse what they call socio-technical risks, or the dangers that occur whenever complex technological systems proliferate, creating “systems of systems” that nobody understands. In early 2010, well before May 6, they released a brilliantly prescient report that predicted that a systems failure loomed."

I think the question of another flash crash in the equities market is more a question of "when" than a question of "if".

Friday, December 30, 2011

Festivus in St. Charles - The Airing of Grievances

"According to court documents, the victim is a cousin of the Wasser brothers. He told police that at 10:24 p.m. on Dec. 20, his cousins came to his residence in the 500 block of South Fifth Street in St. Charles and threatened to shoot him if he did not get into an SUV."

Nothing says "Festivus" like a good old fashioned family style beat down.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Still Hoping For A Comeback?

“Remarkably low rates are not enough," said Mortgage Bankers Assn. economist Michael Fratantoni, noting that many homeowners have difficulty refinancing because of "lack of equity in their properties, poor credit and a weak job market.”

Maybe we should just make loans completely free for 30 years and see if that helps to restore housing stock "values" (whatever the fuck the word "value" is supposed to mean anymore).

It's Over (but don't worry, it will come back in 20 or 30 years or so)

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Illinois Answer to State Budget Gaps

Gov. Pat Quinn hopes the state lottery will start letting Illinois residents buy tickets online by spring following a U.S. Justice Department ruling that the Internet sales are legal.

The governor expressed his support for the long-stalled plan Tuesday, saying he expects ticket sales to increase once Web-based purchasing is in place.

What could possibly go wrong?

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Meanwhile, Back in the Fatherland

"The fresh money borrowed will be used to repay the country's debts and the interest on them, the agency said.

Germany, Europe's top economy, has more than €2.0 trillion in debt or more than 80 percent of its gross domestic product, resulting in interest charges of tens of billions of euros annually."

I was concerned about what I was reading until I read a comment posted:

A rather misleading article.

Nations borrow money because most tax receipts only come a few times a year, yet expenses must be paid everyday. Germany is not in debt. The article implies that it is but this is false.

Currently, Germany is operating just a shade in the red as it spends slightly more than it takes in (by less than 2%) per year.

The 'Debt' that the article is referring to is long term outstanding bonds which have maturities from 5 to 10 or even 20 years. Counting all of that at once is silly, misleading and completely pointless.

The Maastricht Treaty requires a nation be under 60% (Total Long term Debt vs GDP), because the ECB knows that it is almost impossible for a nation to be debt free as virtually all nations sell long term bonds.

Currently, Germany is over this limit (82%) and is working its way back down.

In other words, every thing is fine.

Now we return to our regular program.

Bloviating Bill Maher

Maher tweeted, "Wow, Jesus just... #TimTebow bad! And on Xmas Eve! Somewhere in hell Satan is tebowing, saying to Hitler 'Hey, Buffalo's killing them'.

I'm wondering if a professionaly thrown football would break that outsized schnozz....even a badly thrown one from a left handed quarterback...I'd pay good Ben Bernanke Fun Bucks to see that happen.

Dirty Birds Get BBQ'd ---- With Brees Spicy Seasoning

AP Photo

Brees set the NFL mark for yards passing in a season, breaking a record Dan Marino held for 27 years, and New Orleans wrapped up the NFC South title with a 45-16 victory over the Atlanta Falcons on Monday night.

"New Team, New Dance, Same Feel (retarded)..."

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I'll See You on the Dark Side of the Corn Dog

I never tire of watching Michele eat a foot long corn dog.

The Fat and Happy Boomer Bourgeois

Truly, no larger set of completely clueless and overpaid corporate morons has ever walked the face of the earth than what I call the Boomer Bourgeois.  I’m letting this one rip after talking with some half-wit “executive” over at the white ivory tower…  Here’s the backdrop – for Christmas, dickhead is buying himself a new SUV (natch) for himself, his 18-years-his-junior Bush League trophy wife, her brats from a previous marriage and probably some dumb ass inbred Golden Retriever… a $50,000 Plus SUV with all the bells and whistles.  He’s not sure how he’s “gonna work the deal” with “zero percent financing” or “GM cash back rebate” so he wants to bounce some numbers off yours truly.  I look up his account and lo and behold if this genius doesn’t have over $230k parked in a fucking checking account earning a giant goose egg in interest every month.  When asked, this reincarnation of old J.P. Morgan himself replies that "he read somewhere that one school of thought is that it was a smart move to use someone else’s money for this transaction while holding on to his own cash" (in an account that actually yields NOTHING….right….that’s so clever it is beautiful).  How this motherfucker weaseled his way into a gig that paid him enough to accumulate over $200,000 IN HIS ZERO INTEREST PAYING CHECKING ACCOUNT is beyond me.  Who the fuck did I kill in a previous life that I now have to carry this cross in this one?  My thought while talking with him is “You must either be really good at your job or give mighty good head or both to have landed your corporate warrior gig because managing your own money does NOT appear to be your strong suit, pal”.

My, What Large Brass Balls You Have

It takes a gutsy car thief to squeal off a dealership lot with the salesman standing next to him.

Now, If They Could Just Sell Weed....

White Castle tests adding booze to its menu

The food famously craved by stoners in the 2004 movie "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle" can be had with a glass of wine or a domestic or seasonal beer at a Lafayette, Ind., restaurant that fuses a conventional White Castle with a new concept for the company called Blaze Modern BBQ. Wine costs $4.50 and beers start at $3.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

There Was a Crooked Man Who Had a Crooked .... Saturn

Your Saturn is seriously fucked up, dude.   Be sure to check out the date - 8/6/2008 - from Karmic!  Getting chills up my spine!!

"And yet, in front of Congress, the U.S. Treasury secretary was saying exactly the opposite. Either I was a liar… or he was.
Then… only a few days later… what did Paulson tell those hedge-fund managers?
He told them the same thing I had written in my newsletter. He told them the opposite of what he’d said publicly to Congress."

- Porter Stansberry 12/21/2011 at The Daily Reckoning

We Have Met the Enemy and He is Us

Hurd admitted that during the early and mid-2000's, he operated a company called "The Gift Program," which he described as a "seller funded down payment assistance program" used to provide home buyer's money to make the down payment and initial mortgage payments on real estate purchases. Hurd further admitted that he used The Gift Program to create an elaborate scheme to defraud lenders by concealing the transfer of loan funds to the borrower from the lender. In essence, through the use of The Gift Program, lenders unwittingly funded their own down payment and made the initial mortgage payments.

What a wonderful decade for housing development, mortgage debt, high flying property "values" (whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean), brokers with gelled hair and ass clown attitudes, etc.  We now find ourselves as a country neck deep in our own filth.  My own guess & O-Pinion (that and 4 Ben Bernanke Fun Bucks will get you a Starbuck's "tall") is that 65% of the increases in value came as a result of fraud.  We as a people became a bunch of contortionists capable and willing to blow smoke up our own asses.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Birthday Time

I left this in the rear view mirror for a few days to do a little birthday celebrating....

French bond prices are down....

The Dow is up.....

Kim Jong Il is down.... as in below ground.  So long, Dear Leader....  what a dick.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Pheasant Hunt on Friday

But before we take the field, Bing and I will do some Tebowing.... what the hell could it hurt?

Go Tim - I'm rootin' for you and the Broncos to kick those smug Patriot asses!!!  Eat shit and die, Belichick!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Trans-Siberian Orchestra...

...because some people enjoy mixing their Ted Nugent with their Charles Dickens...

what a God-awful fucking idea...

Nothing Says "Christmas" Like a New Glock

So I was in need to buy steel shot, high brass number 4’s for an upcoming pheasant hunt and so I go into the local gun shop to look for same this Saturday past and the place is just fucking brimming with what appears to be goddamned doomer survivalists.  Young, old, female, male, gay, straight, cat people, dog people, old Coke, new Coke people – you name it and they’re in a gun buying mood – pistols mostly.  Yours truly was just looking for a run of the mill shot gun shell with steel shot so I can go out and chase ditch parrots with my trusty hunting pal that walks on all fours and who can smell feathered creatures far better than I – they did not have said shotgun shells in stock.

How's That for Thinking On Your Feet?

Salvation Army kettle

"The man stood by the unattended red kettle while the real bell ringer was on break and held out his hand, asking people for money."

I'm not so sure any real crime was committed.  His defense: I just happened to be standing here…. next to this red kettle….. at Christmas time….. minding my own business…..checking to see if any rain was falling….. and BOOM – people were putting money into my outstretched hand...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Facebook & Texting - Bringing People Together

Lobsinger Charged For Sending Indecent Text To Minor

Devin Lobsinger, 20, of Dupo is facing a felony charge of indecent solicitation of a minor stemming from a Nov. 25 incident at Waterloo’s large department store. According to the police report, Lobsinger had become Facebook friends with a 13-year-old female. On Nov. 25, he noticed her shopping at the store. He then went into the men’s bathroom where he preceded to text the young girl, requesting her to perform a sexual act. The minor got the text and immediately showed it to her mother who was at her side. The mother called 911 and officers from the Waterloo Police Department soon arrived. They entered the bathroom where they apprehended Lobsinger without incident. (any thoughts about where his pants were when the cops entered the stall??Lobsinger remains behind bars at the Monroe County Jail with bond set at $25,000. He is scheduled to appear at the Monroe County Courthouse on Dec. 22 at 1 p.m.

Flim Flam Nation

I think that one of the more damaging things that this most recent credit bubble has done to the country is that it has turned many regular people into money grubbing douche bags who will do anything for a buck. 

Monday, December 12, 2011

Facebook - Worth E-X-A-C-T-L-Y What You Pay To Use It

"What's striking about these heavily hyped Social Media companies is that they make nothing, and their service is either free (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) or a "free" marketing mechanism (Groupon). When was the last time a company went public in the U.S. that actually manufactured a good? When was the last time a "hot" company went public selling a service that had nothing to do with marketing and that actually performed a valuable function?"

As usual, Charles "Chuck" Hugh Smith does a nice job of putting things in a nutshell.

All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deep. Hey I can bleed as well as anyone, but I need someone to help me sleep.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Birthers Shift Inquiry From Obama to Albert Pujols

Even before St. Louis Cardinals superstar first baseman Albert Pujols rocketed into national baseball prominence in 2001, questions ebbed and flowed about his age. Was he really born in January 1980 or was it earlier?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I Don't Know Where the Money Is

Maybe he should mimic OJ and mount a search for the real killers....

"I was either very lucky or reasonably consistently good as a trader," Corzine said."It was a period of time when Goldman was expanding dramatically," Corzine said. "I think when I joined Goldman Sachs they had 1,700 people, and when I became chairman, they had about 16,000. It was one of those sweeping times that globalization and technology and other things were making possible. [There was] tremendous expansion of franchises, which all played to my advantage."
Right place, right time... wrong place at the right time.... wrong place at the wrong time....

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Hoenig - The Only Guy Who Had His Head Screwed On Right Has Left the Building

"Hoenig spent 2010 — his most recent and final one-year term on the Fed’s rate-setting Open Market Committee — voting against historically low interest rates favored by Federal Reserve Board Chairman Ben Bernanke and every other committee member."

The surge of inflation down on the farm was predicted long ago by you and very soon, you're going to be able to say to those who opposed you "I told you so you bunch o' dumb asses."

Leave it to the Germans...


to answer the question, "Daddy, are there Christmas Trees in Hell?"  Those dudes must do a lot of bad acid over there.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Euro Bonds?!?!? Fick Dich!!!

"There cannot be euro bonds. The German economy would be overburdened should we have to guarantee the debts of all the states. On top of this, the necessary pressure on countries to sort out their national debt problems would fall by the wayside."

"Tax revenues should be used to support the funds, Schaeuble said, adding that Germany would not need to raise taxes to implement the plan."

Raise taxes.... in some of the member countries that party like it's 1999????  Keep dreamin' dude.

Herman Cain Major Pain Watch

"I am suspending my presidential campaign because of the continued distraction, the continued hurt . . . on me, on my family"

What Goes Up...

"As home prices sink, home ownership heads to new lows"

Taken as a whole, our country is short-sighted, stupid and greedy enough that I can only think that we are getting what we deserve.... good and hard.  Getting ass raped by your mortgage without the benefit of even a little dab of lube??... tough shit - cry me a river.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Naked Yoga...Is That What the Kids Are Calling It These Days?

So sure... you come home and find a naked black dude in your house with your smoking hot new wife and her sister.  Happens all the time.

I thought it was a snapshot from a porno but my mind tends to run in the gutter.  Master Yogi has got some game!

Doing What I Can to Promote My Pal's 15 Minutes of Fame

First. Eight-pound Trout. Ever.
Spring Creek (Rockbridge), Missouri. October 20, 2011. Took a Damselfly Nymph. 8.2 pounds.
Photo was taken in kitchen, just before fileting. Trout now resides in freezer. There's a smoker in its future.
Probably my crowning achievement since retiring.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Herman Cain Implod - O - Meter

"The former Godfather's Pizza CEO said he gave financial assistance to White without the knowledge of his wife, to whom he's been married 43 years."

Someone is going to be in dutch with the Little Missus.

Given the "thickness" of this broad, might it be possible he was just giving her Buy One Get One Free Godfather's Coupons?