Turning Keys and Opening Cells My Ass



More like they get it from jacking off too often...

 Public concern about the workers' compensation payouts emanating from Menard escalated after the BND reported that about 230 claims of injury filed mostly by guards who claimed repetitive stress injury from using keys and pulling on cell locking levers generated more than $10 million in claims. The money was paid from public funds because Illinois state government is self-insured.In nearly every case, the claimed injury was the same: carpal tunnel syndrome of the wrist sometimes combined with cubital tunnel syndrome of the elbow allegedly caused by repeated stress from operating cell locking mechanisms. A single lawyer, attorneyTom Rich of Fairview Heights handled nearly half of the claims. He could not be reached for comment but in the past has stated that all of his clients were injured and wanted only to be healed and return to their job.

California may be the land of fruits and nuts but Illinois is the land of cheeky flim-flam boys and girls.

Walk Like a Man

Man tries out to become a Broncos cheerleader.  Jesus, Joseph and Mary...

"European Central Bank President Mario Draghi has boxed himself into a corner."

There is a southern phrase for this...  It is "Don't let your alligator jaws overload your tweety bird ass".

Oh, the streets of Rome are filled with rubble

Ancient footprints are everywhere

You can almost think that you’re seein’ double

On a cold, dark night on the Spanish Stairs

Got to hurry on back to my hotel room

Where I’ve got a date with a pretty lil' girl from Greece

She promised that she’d be right there with me

When I paint my masterpiece

The Legacy of "Bubbles" Sandusky Lives On

Shower abuse victim to sue Penn State

What Makes That Lil' Ole Ant Think He Can Move That Rubber Tree Plant?

"It’s not exactly the Ron Paul revolution in full.  But on Wednesday afternoon, a small piece of his grand vision will hit prime time, when a great majority of the House will vote to pass his Audit the Fed Bill.  To understand how remarkable this moment is — coming near the end of Paul’s congressional career — consider this: When Paul first introduced his bill a decade ago, it was written off as another piece of his far-flung libertarian worldview. For a long time, Paul was a lawmaker who was largely ignored by Washington — that guy on the losing end of 414-1 votes."

Ron Paul - Honorable Man. Sandy Weill - Double Talking Douchbag.

Your Need for the 2nd Amendment Explained Here

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

"Gitta Sereny makes the same point in her book “Into That Darkness,” about Franz Stangl, the commandant of Treblinka. The assignment to the SS was a promotion for the Austrian policeman. Stangl was not a sadist. He was soft-spoken and polite. He loved his wife and children very much. Unlike most Nazi camp officers, he did not take Jewish women as concubines. He was efficient and highly organized. He took pride in having received an official commendation as the “best camp commander in Poland.” Prisoners were simply objects. Goods. “That was my profession,” he said. “I enjoyed it. It fulfilled me. And yes, I was ambitious about that, I won’t deny it.” When Sereny asked Stangl how as a father he could kill children, he answered that he “rarely saw them as individuals. It was always a huge mass. … [T]hey were naked, packed together, running, being driven with whips. …” He later told Sereny that when he read about lemmings it reminded him of Treblinka. "

They are T.S. Eliot’s “the hollow men,” “the stuffed men.” “Shape without form, shade without colour,” the poet wrote. “Paralysed force, gesture without motion."

If you don't want to exercise your right, so be it.  It doesn't usually work out very well but good luck being a lemming if that's what you choose to be.

Do The Right Thing, Sandy

For once in your godforsaken life, do the honorable thing...

In his memoir Weill brags that he and Republican Senator Phil Gramm joked that it should have been called the Weill-Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act. Informally, some dubbed it “the Citigroup Authorization Act.”

And, what kind of grown fucking man goes by the handle "Sandy"?

I'd Take It as a Sign From Above

Plane towing marriage proposal crashes; pilot OK

Take it from your old Uncle Bing... Don't Walk - Run Away!

Was Pedo State Self-Regulating?

"And, of course, effective corporate self-governance results in better regulatory outcomes, especially as businesses participate in the rule-making processes that, with legislation like Dodd-Frank, can have decisive impact on growth and margins."

"Penn State football was all but leveled Monday by an NCAA ruling that wiped away 14 years of coach Joe Paterno's victories and imposed a mountain of fines and penalties, crippling a program whose pedophile assistant coach spent uncounted years molesting children, sometimes on university property."

 

Here's to the little things -

 

The sports section

The weather channel

A good battery

Someone Get That Man an Overcoat

"I’m hopeful that my husband’s doctors will be able to release something soon,” she told the Tribune. “I’m in constant talks with them about Jesse’s condition and his medical prognosis going forward"

Will Mr. Jackson pull a "James Brown style recovery" and somehow pull through??  Only the shadow knows...

(Some) People Are Nasty

A St. Louis woman pleaded guilty Monday to performing sex acts on her dog and was sentenced to 120 days jail.

Frickin' weirdos and kooks....

Premature Ejaculation

Sorry WC - I could not resist taking a "poke" at you there, Buddy!



In typical San Diego style, a high tech “glitch” causes a sophomoric blowing of the load too soon…