Your Nanna Hates You Ben Bernanke and Here Is Why

Fixed income is for chumps!

We are happy to have you as a First Rate Checking member!

As we discussed at the time of account opening, First Rate Checking has requirements for each qualification cycle that, when satisfied, gives you the benefit of our unbelievable 2.51% APY* and nationwide ATM fee refunds.**

For the cycle beginning 12/31/11 and ending 01/30/12, your account qualified.

   *************ANNOUNCEMENT*************
The Federal Reserve has announced that they will keep federal fund rates exceptionally low at least through late 2014. This announcement has forced us to reevaluate our First Rate Checking product. This account has always paid above market and we will continue to but given the reality of this economy and the recent Federal Reserve announcement, we will lower the rate on this account.

Effective March 1, 2012 First Rate Checking will pay 1.51% APY on qualifying accounts. We have not come to this decision lightly and for that reason GUARANTEE that this rate will not be lowered again anytime between March 1, 2012 and December 31, 2014. Additionally, 25 debit transactions will be required to post to the account each qualifying cycle beginning March 1, 2012 to qualify for the rate of 1.51% APY. Those who don't meet the requirements will still be paid 0.25% APY.

This rate is still above-market and we hope you understand why it was necessary.


Well, fuck me.....