Tuesday, January 31, 2012

On-Line Dating - Yeah... fantastic...


turn on's are oatmeal and Lawrence Welk, .... turn off's are tardy Social Security checks and tired blood....
Sitting in Starbucks with a white chocolate decaf (the mullatto of the Starbuck's menu) and sitting near a table with some middle aged folk on what sounds like their first date and they are trying to make a love connection with Chuck Woolery. 

Without a doubt, I whipped it out... got me a rock-n-roll band.... it's a free-for-all...."Honest to God I’ve never seen so many peckers in my whole life! Fat ones, skinny ones, short ones, thick ones, bent ones, hairy ones, bald ones! It’s never right! If I met a guy in my local, he sure as hell wouldn’t whip out his todger before he’d even said ‘Hello’! Online it seems to be the new male form of flirting. God help us!"

Your Nanna Hates You Ben Bernanke and Here Is Why

Fixed income is for chumps!
We are happy to have you as a First Rate Checking member!

As we discussed at the time of account opening, First Rate Checking has requirements for each qualification cycle that, when satisfied, gives you the benefit of our unbelievable 2.51% APY* and nationwide ATM fee refunds.**

For the cycle beginning 12/31/11 and ending 01/30/12, your account qualified.

   *************ANNOUNCEMENT*************
The Federal Reserve has announced that they will keep federal fund rates exceptionally low at least through late 2014. This announcement has forced us to reevaluate our First Rate Checking product. This account has always paid above market and we will continue to but given the reality of this economy and the recent Federal Reserve announcement, we will lower the rate on this account.

Effective March 1, 2012 First Rate Checking will pay 1.51% APY on qualifying accounts. We have not come to this decision lightly and for that reason GUARANTEE that this rate will not be lowered again anytime between March 1, 2012 and December 31, 2014. Additionally, 25 debit transactions will be required to post to the account each qualifying cycle beginning March 1, 2012 to qualify for the rate of 1.51% APY. Those who don't meet the requirements will still be paid 0.25% APY.

This rate is still above-market and we hope you understand why it was necessary.


Well, fuck me.....

Who Says We Don't Make Anything of Value in America Anymore?

Indulge your inner narcissist 

LA’s American Rag just unveiled an earth-shaking breakthrough in fitting room technology at their World Denim Bar.

Is Whitey America All Done With Its Guilt Trip Yet?

Hard to find any recent news on Franklin Raines these days.... wonder why that would be....
"The first black CEO of a Fortune 500 company when he took over Fannie Mae in 1999 under Bill Clinton"

And no, kids... he's not some chief within the Barry machine...  but he sure is hard to find right now (snicker, snicker).

The Maestro's Punchbowl


Yeah, who knew Captain Morgan was going to kick your ass so bad?  Who could have possibly known?

"If we had known that the hangover from last decade's housing boom would last this long, chances are that somebody would have taken away the punch bowl and turned off the lights to the party much sooner. Unfortunately, that never happened," says the report.

Yeah, looking at you Mr. Greenspan....

Report pessimistic over housing market rebounding this decade 

FHA - Making Shoehorn Mortgages So You Can Live Next to Deadbeats

3.5% Down
"The serious delinquency rate for Federal Housing Administration mortgages reached 9.6% in December, the highest level in more than two years, the Department of Housing and Urban Development said."

Housing Wire

9.6% - Wow.  It must be nice working for Uncle Sam in the Lending Game.  Back here in the real world, if you make shitty loans that jack up your 2+ month delinquency rate to a 9.6% level, you usually get a pink slip, a firm handshake and an escort by security as you clean out your desk and pack a box. 

In recent news, there was an e-mail written by an employee within S&P stating that "it could be structured by cows and we would rate it" (S&P rating on mortgage backed securities that revealed themselves over time to be worthless).  In the case of FHA qualified mortgage originations, it would appear that those loans could be structured by cows, underwritten by cows, approved by cows, made by cows, signed by cows and recorded by cows and FHA would still buy them up en masse to prop up housing "values" (whatever the fuck that word is supposed to mean anymore).

Monday, January 30, 2012

I Sent My Money on a Three Hour Tour with Captain Corzine & Never Heard From It Again

you's pays your money and you's takes your chances

Many officials now believe certain employees at MF Global dipped into the "customer segregated account" that the New York company was supposed to keep separate from its own assets -- and then used the money to meet demands for more collateral or to unfreeze assets at banks and other counterparties as they grew more concerned about their financial exposure to MF Global.

Rich, Money-Grubbing Douchebag Steals From Another Rich, Money-Grubbing Douchebag


Morriss has explained to the SEC that the electronic transfers of investor funds went toward "paying bank loans, paying alimony, paying for my household. I have seven kids. You know, regular expenses."
An SEC transcript also reveals that Morriss' close friend and business associate Dixon Brown told SEC investigators on Jan. 5 that Morriss also used these loans to pay for his hunting trips to Africa and elsewhere.

Jon Corzine Lite

Pot Calls Kettle "Black"

...yeah? well you're a judgmental asshole...

"Jon Corzine Rich Politically Connected and a Thief"

- Because fleecing peons and serfs is one thing... stealing from your peer group is a horse of a different color.

 Maybe Jon forgot and bit the hand that fed him?

And of course, ratings agencies are never too far removed from the mess.

"The revelation, made in a letter by the agency to Congress obtained by the Financial Times, comes as US lawmakers plan this week to grill executives at Moody’s and rival Standard & Poor’s on what they knew and when ahead of the broker's collapse on October 31."

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Bartenders Hear All of Our Regrets

they hate me... they all hate me....
I just can't do it anymore... I can't keep screwing these people... I mean shit, how many gold covered toilet seats does Jamie Dimon need anyway? Just last month, my own dear Nanna sent me a birthday card... she's always sent me a twenty dollar bill in the past... you know what she sent me this birthday? A hand drawn "twenty Ben Bernanke Fun Bucks" bill... instead of Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill (yeah, I get the jab there Nanna), it had a picture of my face pasted on the thing... She told me in the card what an asshole I've become and to have fun spending my birthday funny money... My own dear Nanna told me to eat shit and die - on my birthday.... but you know what? You know what??!! She's right....<slurred word>  ... she's right... My God what kind of a schmuck have I become?... I can't keep screwing a bunch of frugal retirees just so Lloyd can keep wiping his ass with fifties... What kind of a schmuck have I become?

Come and Whisper in My Ear - Tell Me All the Things That I Want to Hear


"Investors want to hear a convincing story why they should buy new bonds.  As investors remain reluctant, governments must pay high interest rates or offer guarantees so struggling countries can get the funds needed to operate."

The Rubber is Meeting the Road in Frog Land


French President Nicolas Sarkozy will announce tax rises Sunday, including a hike of 1.6 percentage points in value-added sales tax on goods and services, government sources said.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

It's Rare to Meet a Woman Who Has Enough Throw Pillows

"It's for that reason that I am here, with my little bag, to collect a bit of money," she said at the World Economic Forum in the Swiss Alps town of Davos.


Read more: http://www.stltoday.com/news/national/imf-chief-presses-for-more-cash-to-fight-crisis/article_9b21a959-723f-55be-bf60-436de47bb69c.html#ixzz1kleA7g44
Because not having enough throw pillows can be a crisis....

Friday, January 27, 2012

Comin' For Dat Ass

As for those who engaged in misconduct in the financial industry, "we know what they did, they know what they did and, we know they know we know what they did," said Schneiderman.




The collapse in value of mortgage-backed securities resulted in unprecedented losses, and "all of us" in law enforcement are dedicated to holding accountable financial institutions that lied and cheated and misled investors, said Khuzami.

Lest We Forget Our Recent Past

Ba'al Loves General Tso's Chicken

The first king of hell who rules the east demands tribute.

The newspaper’s report comes hot on the heels of Apple announcing whopping $13billion profits on $46billion sales in its last quarter - but the firm still wants its overseas factories to produce more.

You no die today!  You make i-Pod for fat American - chop chop!!  You work hard on assembly line today or you work hard tomorrow to find new job!!!   Ba'al commands it!!!

When Is Political Theater Just Like Sex? When You Are Timing Your Release

and he rarely finishes too soon
The New York Times takes a very Pollyanna view of the Obama administration’s recent announcement naming Eric Schneidermann as the lead dog on mortgage securitization fraud.

“President Obama’s credibility is on the line. To restore public faith in the financial system, nothing less than a full investigation and full accountability will do.”

And yes, Virginia… there really is a Santa Claus….

Jesus, Joseph and Mary… really?  So you guys down at the Times really believe that’s the motivation?  Altruism?  Restoration of the public faith?  Bwahahahahaha!  <The Smug Bastard breaks out into song.... "Somewhere, over the rainbow….">

Do you think it was just a co-inky-dink that Lisa Madigan’s Illinois A.G. office just yesterday announced it’s plans to file a lawsuit against Standard and Poor’s for alleged misrepresentation of the risk involved with a  boatload of debt securities that turned out to be not worth the paper they were written on?

“There is good reason to be skeptical. To date, federal civil suits over mortgage wrongdoing have been narrowly focused and, at best, ended with settlements and fines that are a fraction of the profits made during the bubble.”

First – I’ve been told by people who know that building a case successful case to prosecute a fraud is difficult and time consuming.

Second – what the fuck year is this???!!!!!????? Oh, that’s right…. It’s an election year and the incumbent running for POTUS is a flaming populist.  Publicly neutering a few fat cats is the surest way to the heart of the unwashed voting masses who are yearning to be free…. Do I have to think of fucking everything???  In this case, the populist is going to do what he does best – be popular…God remains in his heaven, Satan in his hell and all is well with the world.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Angie Blinks

Chancellor Angela Merkel has warned that Germany was not prepared to expose itself to further damage on the markets in order to save the eurozone as the IMF called for a pooling of rescue funds.
Careful old girl - you wouldn't want to leave an open flank!

Vlad Goes Hunting

It's about time...
"Publicly, S&P took every opportunity to proclaim their analyses and ratings as independent, objective and free from its desire for revenue," Madigan said. "Yet privately, S&P abandoned its principles and instead used every trick possible to give deals high ratings in order to retain clients and generate revenue. The mortgage-backed securities that helped our market soar – and ultimately crash – could not have been purchased by most investors without S&P's seal of approval."

"could be structured by cows and we would rate it"

Restless Natives

"I am made of pretty tough stuff and the police did a great job," she said...

Really??... "pretty tough stuff".... really??
Take note esteemed leaders.  "...but Aborigines remain disadvantaged socially and economically compared with the overall population."  You can replace the word "Aborigines" with the name of many other groups throughout the world and come up with a similar sounding statement.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Popcorn! I Want Some Jr. Mints Too Before the Show Starts!

In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
BREAKING: President Obama announced last night that our friend Eric Schneiderman, New York's progressive Attorney General, will lead a new Special Unit to prosecute Wall Street illegality.

"There have been investigations going on in various states and branches of the federal government," he said. "We’re now making a concerted effort to pull everything together and move forward aggressively to address these issues."

What the hell took you so long?  Oh, that's right... wouldn't want to "blow the load" too soon.  Given the  collective memory capacity of the American people (think capuchin monkeys), you wouldn't want to behead any prominent flim flam men right away.  You want chop off those heads and put them on top of pikes and let them be viewed by the unwashed masses who walk past as they go to cast their votes.  Well played, Barry.....well played.


It's Almost November - Time to Start Impaling Enemies for All the Peons to See

Time to Stop Singing Like Al Green and Start Putting Enemies Up On Pikes Like Vlad
If Barry wants a Chinaman's chance in hell of winning the Peasant Vote in November, he needs to stop shucking and jiving and put on his game face.  I suspect that he well knows this... Chicago politicians are unusually adept when it comes to shape shifting into populists when it is expedient.

Schneiderman has a reputation of being a bit of a hard ass.  The office will be a new unit in the president's Financial Fraud Enforcement Task Force and will be chaired by New York Atty. Gen. Eric Schneiderman, according to the person, who was not authorized to speak publicly on the matter.

Section 8 Housing - Coming Soon to A Leafy and Bucolic Suburb Near You

to pay me a fixed percentage of your income each month for your housing
Support for a government-led program to rent out foreclosed Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and Federal Housing Administration homes is the most popular disposition strategy among panelists at the American Securitization Forum.
It’s the most popular, they say, because it works best for mortgage finance and macroeconomic fundamentals. This is a positive development for the long-strained relationship between federal regulators and the mortgage finance industry.
"Unless you have a 30% down payment or a 20% down payment or qualify for FHA, you can't get mortgage financing," said Vincent Fiorillo, portfolio manager at DoubleLine Capital, who said home ownership is "trending downward" due to restrictive credit conditions.
"We need a national program, you can't do individual trades on 3 million houses," he said.
The Federal Housing Finance Agency appears more willing to provide an REO rental program.
According to moderator Christopher DiAngelo, partner at Katten Muchin Rosenman, the foreclosure pipeline could add a million new REOs in this year and another million in 2013.
These properties should not enter into the for-sale market, warned Gary Acosta, co-CEO of New Vista Asset Management. "The feeling in the government is that if the floodgates open it would exacerbate the weakness in the market," Acosta said. "This is a way to reduce supply in the marketplace and stimulate demand."
But not everyone is convinced. Paul Willen, senior economist and policy adviser at the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston, provided some skepticism.
"I'm challenging the idea that the problem is coming. The problem is already here," he said. "If we limit principal reduction to prevent sales, we will get a lot more foreclosures. Negative equity keeps far more properties off the market than puts it on the market."
"I'm not inherently opposed to an REO rental program, but putting properties into rental pools doesn't take it off the market," Willen added. "Why buy if you can rent for cheap?"

This train has been coming down the track for a few decades now:
Gerald R. Ford - "A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have," in an address to a joint session of Congress on August 12, 1974.[1]

Hope You Like Shacking Up with Your Uncle Sam

to turn up the thermostat... I'm freezing in here!!!
NYT: The White House plans to propose legislation that could allow a few million homeowners to reduce monthly mortgage payments by refinancing their current loans into new ones guaranteed by the Federal Housing Administration.

The program would broaden the availability of government-backed mortgages to include many borrowers whose loans are held by private companies and who have been unable to persuade those lenders to reduce their interest rates. Existing federal programs focus mostly on borrowers whose loans are owned by the government.

The new program will be directed at people whose mortgage debts exceed the value of their homes, according to a senior administration official who spoke on the condition of anonymity because the details have not yet been finalized. The official estimated that the program could benefit two million to three million homeowners who have loans that are not guaranteed by the government, and that the program’s cost would not exceed $10 billion.

As Mish accurately points out: Finally, and most importantly, every loan that is refinanced will be paid off in full. Thus, any bank, hedge fund, mortgage provider, or GSE that is paid off on a nonperforming loan will be immediately made whole.

This is a massive backdoor bailout of banks, mortgage companies, hedge funds, foreign banks, and anyone else holding mortgage related garbage.

If this comes to fruition (and I think there is a high probability that it will since it will appeal to both Democrats and Republicans) I suspect that the offer to refinance millions of  "responsible homeowners" (pffffftttttt) into loans made at bargain basement prices (artificially low interest rates) are going to prove to be a bit of a trap for anyone who takes the FHA up on the offer and here's why - the Republicans will sign on so long as there is a caveat included that the debt is not extinguishable in bankruptcy much the same as student loans.  Responsible homeowners (just threw up a little in the back of my mouth) are going to become grist for that mill - indentured servants to a government that they believe can save them from themselves.  As my dear blogging buddy Adrienne and I are apt to say: Careful what you wish for kids, 'cause you might just get it.  I'm still madly in love with you JDA - keep that in mind TLP - better be treating my girl right.

I'm told that Uncle Sam never puts the damned toilet seat down and he gets up two or three times each night and his farts can peel paint off the wall and he leaves his toenail clippings in the sink and he listens to the television set with the volume blaring and he sometimes eats with his mouth open and....... you get the picture.

Barack - The Greatest Hits


"Obama's speech was a compilation of highlights from his past ones"

"We saw Optimistic Obama in his first address to Congress in 2009: “While our economy may be weakened and our confidence shaken; though we are living through difficult and uncertain times, tonight I want every American to know this: We will rebuild, we will recover, and the United States of America will emerge stronger than before.”

"We got Presumptuous Obama in 2010: “As we stabilized the financial system, we also took steps to get our economy growing again, save as many jobs as possible, and help Americans who had become unemployed.”

"We watched Philosophical Obama in 2011: “We are the first nation to be founded for the sake of an idea -– the idea that each of us deserves the chance to shape our own destiny.  That’s why centuries of pioneers and immigrants have risked everything to come here… The future is ours to win.”

Puuhh-leeeze...a home made mix CD of music laying around on i-Tunes is what we get from every president of these United States of America.

Now, let us set aside this bullshit and listen to the real deal:




Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Fun With Bankruptcy



Lois battles her ancient economic nemesis

What's In a Name at Bain?

So, I'm wondering to myself "What the fuck kind of name is Mitt anyway"?
Hmmm, "Willard"... I don't think so dude.  It somehow pegs the needle on the Creep-O-Meter.  That's not such a good handle for gaining people's trust - "Pleased to meet you, I'm Willard Romney".  (yikes)  "Pleased to meet you, I'm Willard Mitt Romney" (not much better and that mouthful is a LOT to remember)  "Pleased to meet you, I'm Mitt Romney".... much better.

It All Starts Sounding the Same

"I did not have lobbyist relations on behalf of that company."

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."


As far as I can tell, Newton and Bill could be bosom buddies.  Bill just knows how to score more action.... hey, that reminds me of a joke from a dear old blogging buddy:

"So, there's this guy and he's out at the beach, let's call him Jeff.  He sees another guy walking along the beach (we'll call this guy "Tom") and all the women are turning their heads and watching him and "oohing" and "aahing."  Now Tom is not all that great looking, thinks Jeff, but he's getting a lot of action ... So, Jeff says "Hey Tom, how do you get all the ladies to fall over themselves like that ..."  And Tom says "I just put a potato in my swimsuit ..."  So, thinking this is a great idea, the next day, Jeff gets a nice Russett and sticks it in his swimmers.  He goes strolling down the beach ... but the women are running in the other direction as he approaches, looking at him in disgust ....  So, he sees Tom and he says "Tom, I don't understand.  I put a potato in my swim shorts, just like you said, but the women are treating me worse than they did before!"  And Tom says, "Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, you have to put the potato in the FRONT!"

Monday, January 23, 2012

Boundaries People... Boundaries

Even after all these years - a tune that still grabs you by the balls (or lends you a pair if you are lacking).
Steven Tyler ripped for national anthem performance.

First off - Tyler needs to retire.  Dude, you were great and helped write the book on what a good front man does but, there is a time and place for everything.  Tell Jagger to do the same if you see him.

Secondly - did someone actually think he was going to give the anthem a whirl WITHOUT screaming?  Bird gotta fly, fish gotta swim, Tyler gotta wail.

Forgot some of the words...  Really?  No shit?  Well that's just fucking shocking.  Given the amount of partying the old boy did back in the 70's, it's fucking amazing he can remember his own name.

Steven Tyler invited to sing the National Anthem....  really?  What's next?  A Very Snoop Dogg Christmas?  Sinead O'Connor inspirational duets with special guest Pope Benedict?  Boundaries, people.  Good fences make good neighbors.

See previously posted material about mixing your Ted Nuget with your Charles Dickens.

Meanwhile, Back at MF Global HQ



MF Global... as in "Where on this globe is my money, mother fucker?"

Corzine and the RICO Act - a match made in heaven.

Edu-mah-cation Lessons in Freedom

Look out world!  Here I come!
Taxpayers and other lenders have little risk of losing money on the loans, unlike mortgages made during the real estate bubble. Congress has given the lenders, the government included, broad collection powers, far greater than those of mortgage or credit card lenders. The debt can't be shed in bankruptcy.



Sunday, January 22, 2012

Don't Throw Out That Y2K Survival Gear Just Yet!!

"Unfortunately, given the increasing complexity and fragility of our modern technological society, the chances of a societal collapse are increasing year after year," said author James Wesley Rawles, whose Survival Blog is considered the guiding light of the prepper movement.

Every Tuesday is DOUBLE COUPON DAY!!!
keepin' the powder dry

Fear and Loathing in Berlin

“The fear indicator is higher than in was in 2008,” he said. “Something is not right, trust is disappearing.”
Fear within the strongest nation in the E.U.

'Ich bin ein Berliner'

Feel The Love with 30% Off Regular Price


don't forget to tip your crew


The owners of the Costa Concordia are offering survivors of the disaster a 30 per cent discount off future cruises as they battle to stave off law suits expected to cost hundreds of millions of pounds.

Book today and we'll reserve your deck chair!

Friday, January 20, 2012

The Phantom of the Tar Sands

Lon Chaney explains Keystone on Fox. 

If this pipeline is not built to the South to Texas, it will be built to the West... to the Chinese...
Gasoline supplies are being exported to the highest bidder, says Tom Kloza, chief oil analyst at Oil Price Information Service. "It's a world market," he says. (Kenny Bing comment - welcome to the race to the bottom...lower wages and higher prices - SCORE!)
Refining companies won't say how much they make by selling fuel overseas. But analysts say those sales are likely generating higher profits per gallon than they would have generated in the U.S. Otherwise, they wouldn't occur.

"Avoid Ghetto" Ap - Compliments of Kenny Bing

Hmmm... Let's consult the Kenny Bing Crime-O-Meter before venturing into this area of town, shall we?


"The attack happened shortly after 6 p.m. Tuesday in the 5000 block of N. 5th Street in the city’s Olney section."

According to investigators, 64-year-old Edward Schaefer was walking to meet his wife at the bus stop when he was approached from behind by six males.

The assailants were part of the notorious Gator Posse

At GE, We Bring Good Things To Life


Come 'n get it Bitches!!!!!!!
 The wheels turn slowly but they do turn.  "Subprime lenders have long been in the cross hairs. They issued hundreds of billions of dollars in mortgages to people with shaky credit, then bundled the loans for sale to investors as highly rated securities. When the borrowers couldn't pay their mortgages, the investments collapsed — leaving investors and lenders saddled with toxic debt.

Lawsuits in state and federal courts have charged that WMC and GE misled investors and other parties in the sale of mortgages and mortgage-backed securities.

Eight former employees told iWatch News, a publication of the nonprofit, nonpartisan Center for Public Integrity, that WMC managers ignored them when they flagged loans supported by misrepresentations such as fake bank statements and pay stubs.

"They didn't want to hear what you found," Gail Roman, who worked as a loan auditor at a WMC office in New York, told iWatch. "Even if you had enough documentation to show that there was fraud or questionable activity."


“There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I'm guessing all of those loans were top quality deals...  "Under her leadership WMC’s production volume soared from less than $12 million to a $1 billion a month in 2004."

"what she most enjoys is feeling “that I’m helping to make the dream of home ownership real" (and the H*U*G*E fucking pay days don't hurt either!!!!!!!!!!!!!).   Give me a fucking break...

“My parents led me to believe that I could do anything,” she says... Well, you can in fact do anything but for doing some things, there might be a price to be paid....

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Getting a Little too Much Male Skin on Here - Starting to Feel Uneasy About Myself

because I was getting a few too many nude dude pictures up there

The Trouble with Cougars

feeling offended yet?

Avoid Ghetto - There's an App for That

A new technology designed to help pedestrians avoid bad neighborhoods has plenty of smartphone users up in arms


If the Shoe Fits.... If the FUBU Fits....
What a statement...

"Avoid Ghetto" ?? The should rebrand the App and re-launch as "Avoid Morons"

If You Believe the Keystone Pipeline is Gonna Translate to Lower Gasoline Prices for You, I Have Some Florida Real Estate You Might Want to Buy

"There's at least one domestic downside to America's growing role as a fuel exporter. Experts say the trend helps explain why U.S. motorists are paying more for gasoline. The more fuel that's sent overseas, the less of a supply cushion there is at home."


Got Gym Membership?


Looking at pictures of these two, the only thing that I can conclude is that some most women are totally ok with being with a man that hasn’t seen his own dick in quite some years so long as the dude has got a shit load of Ben Bernanke Fun Bucks and power.  I’m betting that even if she were given the aid of a search and rescue dog, she couldn’t find fatass’s pud.  Jesus, Joseph and Mary… if you win, join a fucking Gold’s Gym already… you’re supposed to be setting a fucking example.

has that Jack Nicholson "Joker" smile down pat!

Are We There Yet?!?!? Are We There Yet?!?


"In some neo-conservative circles the word 'empire' is back in fashion, and a great republic that broke away from the British empire is now supposed to be proud of its new imperial role. This book explains how the neo-conservatives and the petro-military complex have hijacked US foreign policy. It examines the price that Americans will have to pay for this new era of unlimited US military might - a never ending fear of terrorism; mushrooming defence and security spending; the erosion of civil liberties at home and the deaths abroad of tens of thousands of civilians and military combatants. At the heart of this disturbing and timely book is the ultimate question. Previous empires have foundered on the rock of imperial overstretch - the costs of trying to run and protect empires eventually outstripping the capacity and willingness of the citizenry to pay for them. Is the US in danger of going down that road?"

2004 - what a very good year...

The Parade of Grifters Continues

where right is wrong, wrong is right, upside down is upright and everything is just generally fucked up
The co-conspirators recruited individuals to purchase the properties, acted as the buyers’ real estate agent and assisted the buyers in applying for residential mortgage loans to purchase the houses. Ilunga’s co-conspirators then prepared loan applications for the buyers that included fraudulent information concerning, among other things, the buyers’ employment, income, assets and liabilities, previous property ownership and intention to make the properties their primary residences. The co-conspirators also provided false and fraudulent supporting documentation, including false letters from fictitious employers, false earnings statements and fraudulent bank records. Some of those loan applications were submitted to banks that received funding under the Troubled Asset Relief Program.

This is now coming to a head after a DECADE long game of 3-Card Monte.   A decade of bullshit.  Let that soak in a moment.  A fucking decade long real estate fraud.

Time is revealing to me that my suspicions about our society are true.  As a group, we are nothing but a bunch of hustlers.  As a society, we are but a craven, money-grubbing mass of assholes that will go to great lengths to try to fool anyone for a goddamned buck.  I’m not sure if we’ve always been this way or if we’ve just taken the scam to a whole new level of bullshit within Dante’s clusterfuck.  When we are not scamming our neighbors, we are contortionists who love blowing smoke up our own asses because we’re too fucked up to face and accept our limitations and weaknesses.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Bond Holders Getting School'd in Pricing Risks by Dionysus

"Mr. Papademos said that if Greece did not receive 100 percent participation in a program in which bondholders would voluntarily write down $130 billion from Greece’s unwieldy $450 billion debt, the country would consider passing a law to require holdouts to take losses."

"His comments came after talks broke down last week between Greece and its creditors over the terms of a “voluntary” default, in which the private bondholders will agree to a 50 percent reduction or more in the value of their holdings."

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/18/world/europe/papademos-says-greece-could-force-creditors-to-take-losses.html?_r=1&hp

"Greece has ratcheted up pressure on hedge funds and other holders of Greek debt ahead of the talks by threatening to consider legislation that forces creditors to take losses if not enough bondholders signed up to the deal.  A law on so-called collective action clauses forcing holdouts to accept losses could be drafted if Greece deems the participation rate unsatisfactory, Greek officials said."

"The debt swap deal would see creditors voluntarily giving up 50 percent of the nominal value of the bonds they hold."

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/01/18/greece-debt-idUSL6E8CI2TE20120118

I'm not surprised.  This is an overdue lesson about pricing for risk.  Last time I checked, bond fund managers don't usually command armies and legislatures.  Oh wait, I guess they might...or have a brother in law that does...  My thought: hey, get over it.  It's only money, right?  So you take a few losses...so what?  Relax and take it like a man.  You can't really tell me that you thought you were going to jump into the sack with a Greek without being expected to take the high hard one up the shit chute at least once.

Neon Dion - Party Time, Excellent!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Scapegoating the Dog

Taking the game of blaming the dog for one's own farts to a whole other level.
He who smelt it, dealt it.

Don't Worry - I'm a Professional


"I'm the only one in this room professional enough, that I know of, to carry this Glock 40."

The video shows that after Paige shot himself, he tried to continue his presentation to the Orlando Youth Minority Golf Association. "See how that accident happened?" he told the audience. "It can happen to you, and you can be blown away. So guys, never play with guns."
Limping, he started to bring out another gun to show but the audience protested. He tried to assure them the second weapon was unloaded - as he had claimed when he brought out the Glock - but ended the presentation when the crowd continued to object.

Dial Back the Date, McFly!


I’m wondering if our decade long credit bubble chasing real estate isn’t rooted in the Fed’s moderate easing pre-September 11, 2001 and the girly man reaction that the Greenspan Fed had post-September 11, 2001.




In looking at the Fed’s reaction to the attack, it would appear that the groupthink within the Fed dictated a “cheap money for as far as the eye can see” strategy.  Then, like a pathetic rookie drug dealer, they started using their own dope and got hooked.

My Time Machine was Repo'd Last Week


Just to put things into perspective, I hopped into the time machine to see what the overnight rate was back in 2006 – take a guess… Anyone?  Bueller? Bueller?  The overnight rate is within the direct control of the geniuses at the Federal Reserve.  It is a “price control” on the price of credit and usually fucks up the true and correct pricing of risk.  Rather than allow markets to dictate the price of credit, the Mensa Dance Squad over at the Federal Reserve decide that it is theirs to say what the benchmark will be.

And what was the overnight rate back then?  It ranged between 3 to 4 paltry percentage points.

Yep, 3-4 percent… even as the Fed Dead Heads (no offense intended toward any Grateful Dead fans out there) took turns blowing smoke up “The Financial Yoda’s” prune like ass and acknowledged within the meeting minutes that a major league credit bubble chasing after real estate assets had taken form.  Timmy wasn’t going to be outdone by his colleagues so he slipped in a little tongue while he was blowing smoke rings up the Maestro’s sphincter.
Deeper!  Faster!

Monday, January 16, 2012

The Bailout Fund May Need a Bail Out

Who farted?

Standard & Poor's axe took another swing at Europe Monday, this time stripping Europe's bailout fund of its AAA status.

It's Occupy, Swedish Bikini Team Style

'Upper-class safari' angers Stockholmers 

The actual aim of the organizers however, is to debunk the myth of Sweden being a classless society and to highlight the gulf between the classes.

All For One calls itself a "revolutionary organization" involved in class warfare, according to its website.


The group calls on prospective sightseers to develop their "hate" of the class system.

An Un-Holy Marriage

One can only imagine how ugly and retarded the children will be.
Spencer Barasch, the former head of enforcement for the Securities and Exchange Commission’s Fort Worth office agreed to pay a $50,000 fine to settle claims he inappropriately represented fallen billionaire Allen Stanford.

The Justice Department accused Barasch of breaking federal conflict-of-interest laws in seeking to represent Stanford in legal matters after he left the SEC in 2005 and entered private practice.   Prosecutors claim that while at the SEC Barasch repeatedly stymied investigations into Stanford’s financial firm, which collapsed in 2009 amid allegations it was a $7 billion Ponzi scheme.

John Edwards' 'serious' medical condition leads to trial delay

What?  Did he run out of hair spray?
Oh how the mighty have fallen.

WMC's Amy Brandt - We Birth Shitty Fraud Loans.... with Love


As home values were starting to fall and subprime loan defaults were starting to rise across the industry in late 2006, Amy Brandt stepped down as WMC’s top executive. She told a trade publication that her contract with GE was ending and, rather than re-enlist, it was time for her “to move on.”

“This was really my baby, and I wanted to wrap up this era because I really love the company,” Brandt explained.

"I think the greatest amount of pain hasn't been felt yet," says Brandt. "I hope we can find a way to bring more liquidity to the market." Amy Brandt October 2007

Well now - that's just pure fucking genius, Amy.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Sunday 7:00am to 3:00pm Rain or Shine


"Bank of America told Federal Reserve officials in June that it could shed branches in some parts of the country if it needed to raise capital in an emergency, a person familiar with the matter said."

What's next?  A fucking bake sale and wet t-shirt car wash?

You've Been Marginalized

When a person, town, state or country becomes insolvent, they sit on the sidelines while others dictate.  Take note:

"...city lost something fundamental: its democratic government."

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Bill Maher - Horse's Ass


Rips on Tim Tebow but endorses this piece of shit for President back in the Edwards halcyon days - go figure.

European Degradation

Friday the 13th

Spain AA- to A
bwahahahahahaha!!!!  The traders and managers who bought up Spanish paper earlier in the week (like Wednesday or Thursday) are not going to take a solid shit this weekend.....

France AAA to AA+
Face facts old girl... you're an old whore that knows a lot of good tricks and you found a new dress and some pancake makeup and got delusional about how attractive you were...  the jig is up, the news is out.  France does not have friends only interests.

Italy A to BBB+
That's from the "no shit, Sherlock??" file.  Italians.... trusted with money?  Seriously?  Might as well throw cash at the fuckin' Irish.

All the rest (Cyprus, Slovenia, Slovakia, Malta, etc.) - who really gives two shits?

Friday, January 13, 2012

Real Time with Kenny Bing

Tim’s too good a man to tell Bill Maher this….but fortunately, yours truly is not.

Bill: Fuck you and the horse you rode in on pal.  I’d like to see your scrawny fucking ass suited up and for you to try to catch a pass thrown by Tim from say 20 yards out directed full-on into your numbers as hard as that boy can throw that sonafabitch.  My guess is that the velocity of the ball would lift you off your tiny Irish/Jewish feet and put you on your ass which is where you belong and probably the only thing that could get you to shut that big yap of yours.  That’s the problem with English majors – the only thing they know how to do is flap their jaws and most of ‘em are never sure when they should just shut the fuck up.

Rootin' for you Tim and all the other Broncos... give 'em hell... or heaven, whichever.

Taking the 2nd Ammendment to a Whole Other Level


"The man died at the scene of the explosion, Arnhart said. Investigators believe the cannon was designed for recreational purposes and was not illegal."

Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee  - John Donne

Any man??? Really, John?  I'm not so sure.